You know that awkward moment when you don't know whether to stay happy or burst out crying… I was caught up in a web.
"Clarise, stop this joke... I have an award to collect."
I attempted to walk back to the stage and receive an award for being the best model of the year because I thought Clarise just wanted to pull my legs.
She drew me back.
"What’s your problem?" I asked.
What else does this lady want from me? I’m trying so hard not to believe what she said.
"Madam Clara is gone. David and Jeremy don’t know yet."
My brains began to accept this painful fact.
I broke down in tears. I felt my heart ripping out into tiny fragments.
"No! Not now, for Christ’s sake."
My legs became weak to an extent that I sat on the bare tiles.
I knew it was more than three months as the doctor had presumed she would live, but she seemed fine.
"Bisola Oluwatoke, please your trophy awaits you."
The host called out to me. I couldn't get up from where I sat; Clarise quickly gave me a helping hand.
"Go on Bukky, please don't cry up there. I don't want any of the boys to find out, okay?"
I wiped my tears and sniffed in before I marched out. Vodka stood with her team on the other end with the trophy in her hands; she was to crown me. She began to cry as she approached me. She crowned me and hurried off.
I was supposed to take a photograph alone which would be used as the new face of "The House Of Earl" but I insisted on taking a group photo with my crew; we all worked for it.
It was time to give my speech. My hands began to shake. I was not supposed to cry at that instance, I should be happy. As I picked up the microphone, I looked sideways to Clarise. She beckoned with her eyes; I should fight this.
I cleared my throat.
"I started as nothing in this house, and today I proudly lift this trophy. I am here today because of one woman..."
“Oh God! I owe everything to Madam Clara... she made me who I am today. But she is gone now,” that was what I planned to say.
I tried so hard to hold myself but I gave up eventually, bursting out profusely with tears. I couldn't hold the pain. I could hear the audience murmur for a while before they roared with applause. They thought I was shedding tears of joy, but only one person understood.
I bit my lips as I tried so hard to control myself; but the moment I met his eyes with tears dropping unconditionally, he asked with his eyes,
"What's wrong, Bukky?”
I said in my mind;
"Mum is gone, David."
And he understood.
Continued on next page...
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